My sleep habits are not good again. My brain never wants to shut off anyways. Even when I DO get to sleep, I dream like crazy and twitch. It wakes me up constantly during the night. I recently started getting night terrors again.

I had a dream I was a slave and if I didn't do things properly I would be cut in half and I looked around and there were dozens of people cut in half. I even saw someone still working while cut in half. I woke up and forgot where I was, I looked at the clock. 4 am. I didn't go back to sleep I started getting ready for work and sat with my mom while she was getting ready for work as well. I told her about my night terrors and we started talking about how I've dealt with them for a long time.

You see. At a very young age I discovered death and thought about it a lot. I remember having only night terrors. My bedroom was becoming something I feared. So, I started sleeping in parents bed every night. It was the only way I could not have them. I tried other things before that though. I used to sleep on my floor at the end of my bed with the night light above my head cause I thought it was too far from me when I slept on the bed. I also tried sleeping in my sister's room. I slept in my parents bed until an embarrassing age that I will not mention.

Sometimes I still sleep with the light on. Not a well known fact right there.

It's not only the dreams that keep me from sleeping though. When I try to fall asleep I'll just constantly think about anything and everything. Especially when I'm going through something. I will toss, turn and think for hours.

I don't know what to do. I've considered sleeping pills many times.